See The 8 Things That Make Women Want To
Have S ex [MUST READ]
You Must have Heard “Not tonight, honey” a
few too many times lately? If it’s just not
happening between the sheets for you and your
lady, it might be time to learn what really gets
her psyched for s ex. While guys are generally
up for s ex whenever, wherever (regardless of
the situation), women tend to need a bit more
inspiration, according to Cindy M. Meston,
Ph.D. and David M. Buss, Ph.D., psychology
professors at the University of Texas at Austin
and coauthors of Why Women Have s ex:
Understanding s exual Motivations from
Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in
Between).
For a better understanding of how to get her in
the mood, consider the following eight factors
that Meston and Buss say affects a woman’s
lib ido:
1. Her man’s appearance Men are usually
considered to be the most turned on by visual
stimuli (think about it: how many strip clubs
and adult magazines are actually targeted
toward females?), but women are actually quite
turned on by a man’s face, bo dy and
movement as well, say Meston and Buss. “s
exually, women are attracted to men with
masculine features, although not too
masculine,” Meston explains. “A little light
stubble is usually a turn-on for women if it’s
clean and well-kept. bo dy-wise, women
generally find men with a V-shaped torso or a
high shoulder-to-hip ratio s exually attractive.
Motion is important, too, as women find
athletic prowess and agility to be s exual turn-
ons.” The bottom line: If you’d like to get her
in the sack, a good first step to take might be
getting yourself into the gym.
2. The time of day Meston says that women
are very individualized in terms of when they
most prefer to get it on: “In general, women
want to have s ex when they feel their best —
when they have energy, feel connected to their
partners, aren’t distracted by work or stressful
daily events, and when they feel s exy — and
that may or may not be at night.” In order to
figure out when a woman’s most likely to be in
the mood, pay attention to the times she
seems the most energized and/or chilled out.
Try thinking outside the box — you may find
that she’d love a post-jog quickie right before
her shower!
3. Certain smells Meston and Buss explain
that, for women, sense of smell is far more
important than it is to men when it comes to s
exual attraction. Simply put: if a woman
doesn’t like the way a man smells, it’s often a
deal-breaker — whether she consciously
realizes it or not. The number one turn-off
reported by most women is — not surprisingly
— bad breath, says Buss. A woman’s sense of
smell also plays an interesting biological role
in what attracts her to a man, according to
Meston: “Olfactory signals provide a woman
with a wealth of information about a man’s
health, hygiene, and even his genetic makeup,”
she notes. Pheromones — tiny airborne
molecules that humans emit from various
glands in their bo dy — can influence a
woman’s desire to be s exually intimate with a
man. Male pheromones have been shown to
provide information on a man’s symmetry,
which is an indicator of genetic fitness and
ultimately can determine whether a man is
genetically compatible with a woman. “For
many women — whether they realize it or not —
scent can play an important role in determining
her willingness to have s ex with a man, given
her ‘sense’ of whether they can produce
genetically healthy, strong children together,”
says Buss.
4. Her guy’s choice of words Often, what a
man says is more important than what he does
when he’s trying to get a woman in the mood.
“Offering compliments is usually a sure-fire way
of making someone want to get closer…
although, if the compliments come across as
insincere, they will actually turn her off,” says
Meston. To score extra sincerity points, make
references to future activities you’d like to do
together, explains Meston, noting that showing
signs of commitment can often be s exually
alluring to women. Buss also notes that a man
with a sense of humor is also a s exual turn-on
for the ladies: “If a man can make a woman
laugh, it relaxes her and makes her feel that he
‘gets’ her,” he says, adding that a good sense
of humor also conveys some key qualities
women want in a mate: intelligence (it’s hard
to be witty if you’re not too bright), the ability
to gauge her emotional and social perspective
(a.k.a. having the mind-reading skills to know
what she will find amusing), and social verve or
confidence.
5. The need for revenge In their research,
Meston and Buss found that many women had
“revenge s ex” with someone other than their
most recent dating partner to get back at a
cheating partner or to “even the score,” as
some women put it. “Some women hoped their
ex would find out about it and feel angry or
hurt, and other women said they didn’t care if
they found out or not — they felt better just
knowing they had gotten revenge,” Meston
explains. Why is the need for revenge such a
turn-on for women? “Revenge can serve two
basic functions,” Buss explains. The first
function is one of deterrence: just as bullies
stop picking on victims who retaliate, cheating
partners sometimes stop their illicit activities
when the other person retaliates in kind. The
second function of revenge is “reputation
management,” says Buss. “Women who are
scorned sometimes suffer damage to their
social reputation, whether they are cheated on
or dumped. Having s ex — especially if it is
with someone who is relatively high in ‘mate
value’ — can sometimes help to restore a
woman’s reputation,” he explains.
6. Genetics Women prefer men whose MHC
genes (or Major HistoCompatibility genes) are
dissimilar to their own, because this is the set
of genes involved in determining an individual’s
immune function. “Having children with men
who are dissimilar produces children with
healthier immune systems,” Buss explains.
“Astonishingly, women seem to be able to pick
this up through sense of smell, especially at
ovula tion, if they are not on hormonal
contraceptives.”
7. Her physical health or well-being If you’re
looking for a few good reasons why she should
have s ex with you, there are countless ways in
which you can emphasize that “getting busy”
would be a wise move for her health.
“During orgasm, opiates — the bo dy’s natural
painkillers — are released, which can help
decrease all sorts of aches and pains for
women,” Meston explains. s ex can also help
maintain the bo dy’s flexibility and
cardiovascular health, decrease anxiety, and
enhance overall mood. Additionally, Meston
notes, having s ex during menstruation
decreases a woman’s risk of experiencing
endometriosis symptoms. Of course, s ex (if it
lasts long enough!) can also be a good calorie
burner, so you can always suggest it as a
fantastic way to burn off the chocolate
cheesecake you shared for dessert.
8. To raise her social status or sense of self-
esteem In their research, Meston and Buss
found that, for some women, having s ex is
more about competition and winning (see who
went home with the good-looking guy at the
bar?). For women that do this to compete with
others and also raise their social standing, her
intended target’s social status is a key factor
in revving her lib ido. “Young women who are
‘grou pies,’ for example, often compete to see
who can have s ex with the musician who has
a higher status, while Monica Lewinsky raised
her status by having an intimate connection
with the President,” Buss says. She goes on to
explain that, for women who have s ex to raise
their self-esteem, the motivating factor is
usually the need to feel s exually desirable.
“Some women suffer from low self-esteem and
feel bad about their bo dies for a variety of
reasons, ranging from comparisons with media
models to put-downs by their regular mates,”
explains Buss. Having s ex with a man who
finds her irresistibly hot and her bo dy
incredibly beautiful can provide a huge boost to
a woman’s self-esteem — so if you’re looking
for a little loving, make her feel like she’s the s
exiest woman on the planet! Allison Kendall is
a freelance writer based in Atlanta, GA.
Read More
Have S ex [MUST READ]
You Must have Heard “Not tonight, honey” a
few too many times lately? If it’s just not
happening between the sheets for you and your
lady, it might be time to learn what really gets
her psyched for s ex. While guys are generally
up for s ex whenever, wherever (regardless of
the situation), women tend to need a bit more
inspiration, according to Cindy M. Meston,
Ph.D. and David M. Buss, Ph.D., psychology
professors at the University of Texas at Austin
and coauthors of Why Women Have s ex:
Understanding s exual Motivations from
Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in
Between).
For a better understanding of how to get her in
the mood, consider the following eight factors
that Meston and Buss say affects a woman’s
lib ido:
1. Her man’s appearance Men are usually
considered to be the most turned on by visual
stimuli (think about it: how many strip clubs
and adult magazines are actually targeted
toward females?), but women are actually quite
turned on by a man’s face, bo dy and
movement as well, say Meston and Buss. “s
exually, women are attracted to men with
masculine features, although not too
masculine,” Meston explains. “A little light
stubble is usually a turn-on for women if it’s
clean and well-kept. bo dy-wise, women
generally find men with a V-shaped torso or a
high shoulder-to-hip ratio s exually attractive.
Motion is important, too, as women find
athletic prowess and agility to be s exual turn-
ons.” The bottom line: If you’d like to get her
in the sack, a good first step to take might be
getting yourself into the gym.
2. The time of day Meston says that women
are very individualized in terms of when they
most prefer to get it on: “In general, women
want to have s ex when they feel their best —
when they have energy, feel connected to their
partners, aren’t distracted by work or stressful
daily events, and when they feel s exy — and
that may or may not be at night.” In order to
figure out when a woman’s most likely to be in
the mood, pay attention to the times she
seems the most energized and/or chilled out.
Try thinking outside the box — you may find
that she’d love a post-jog quickie right before
her shower!
3. Certain smells Meston and Buss explain
that, for women, sense of smell is far more
important than it is to men when it comes to s
exual attraction. Simply put: if a woman
doesn’t like the way a man smells, it’s often a
deal-breaker — whether she consciously
realizes it or not. The number one turn-off
reported by most women is — not surprisingly
— bad breath, says Buss. A woman’s sense of
smell also plays an interesting biological role
in what attracts her to a man, according to
Meston: “Olfactory signals provide a woman
with a wealth of information about a man’s
health, hygiene, and even his genetic makeup,”
she notes. Pheromones — tiny airborne
molecules that humans emit from various
glands in their bo dy — can influence a
woman’s desire to be s exually intimate with a
man. Male pheromones have been shown to
provide information on a man’s symmetry,
which is an indicator of genetic fitness and
ultimately can determine whether a man is
genetically compatible with a woman. “For
many women — whether they realize it or not —
scent can play an important role in determining
her willingness to have s ex with a man, given
her ‘sense’ of whether they can produce
genetically healthy, strong children together,”
says Buss.
4. Her guy’s choice of words Often, what a
man says is more important than what he does
when he’s trying to get a woman in the mood.
“Offering compliments is usually a sure-fire way
of making someone want to get closer…
although, if the compliments come across as
insincere, they will actually turn her off,” says
Meston. To score extra sincerity points, make
references to future activities you’d like to do
together, explains Meston, noting that showing
signs of commitment can often be s exually
alluring to women. Buss also notes that a man
with a sense of humor is also a s exual turn-on
for the ladies: “If a man can make a woman
laugh, it relaxes her and makes her feel that he
‘gets’ her,” he says, adding that a good sense
of humor also conveys some key qualities
women want in a mate: intelligence (it’s hard
to be witty if you’re not too bright), the ability
to gauge her emotional and social perspective
(a.k.a. having the mind-reading skills to know
what she will find amusing), and social verve or
confidence.
5. The need for revenge In their research,
Meston and Buss found that many women had
“revenge s ex” with someone other than their
most recent dating partner to get back at a
cheating partner or to “even the score,” as
some women put it. “Some women hoped their
ex would find out about it and feel angry or
hurt, and other women said they didn’t care if
they found out or not — they felt better just
knowing they had gotten revenge,” Meston
explains. Why is the need for revenge such a
turn-on for women? “Revenge can serve two
basic functions,” Buss explains. The first
function is one of deterrence: just as bullies
stop picking on victims who retaliate, cheating
partners sometimes stop their illicit activities
when the other person retaliates in kind. The
second function of revenge is “reputation
management,” says Buss. “Women who are
scorned sometimes suffer damage to their
social reputation, whether they are cheated on
or dumped. Having s ex — especially if it is
with someone who is relatively high in ‘mate
value’ — can sometimes help to restore a
woman’s reputation,” he explains.
6. Genetics Women prefer men whose MHC
genes (or Major HistoCompatibility genes) are
dissimilar to their own, because this is the set
of genes involved in determining an individual’s
immune function. “Having children with men
who are dissimilar produces children with
healthier immune systems,” Buss explains.
“Astonishingly, women seem to be able to pick
this up through sense of smell, especially at
ovula tion, if they are not on hormonal
contraceptives.”
7. Her physical health or well-being If you’re
looking for a few good reasons why she should
have s ex with you, there are countless ways in
which you can emphasize that “getting busy”
would be a wise move for her health.
“During orgasm, opiates — the bo dy’s natural
painkillers — are released, which can help
decrease all sorts of aches and pains for
women,” Meston explains. s ex can also help
maintain the bo dy’s flexibility and
cardiovascular health, decrease anxiety, and
enhance overall mood. Additionally, Meston
notes, having s ex during menstruation
decreases a woman’s risk of experiencing
endometriosis symptoms. Of course, s ex (if it
lasts long enough!) can also be a good calorie
burner, so you can always suggest it as a
fantastic way to burn off the chocolate
cheesecake you shared for dessert.
8. To raise her social status or sense of self-
esteem In their research, Meston and Buss
found that, for some women, having s ex is
more about competition and winning (see who
went home with the good-looking guy at the
bar?). For women that do this to compete with
others and also raise their social standing, her
intended target’s social status is a key factor
in revving her lib ido. “Young women who are
‘grou pies,’ for example, often compete to see
who can have s ex with the musician who has
a higher status, while Monica Lewinsky raised
her status by having an intimate connection
with the President,” Buss says. She goes on to
explain that, for women who have s ex to raise
their self-esteem, the motivating factor is
usually the need to feel s exually desirable.
“Some women suffer from low self-esteem and
feel bad about their bo dies for a variety of
reasons, ranging from comparisons with media
models to put-downs by their regular mates,”
explains Buss. Having s ex with a man who
finds her irresistibly hot and her bo dy
incredibly beautiful can provide a huge boost to
a woman’s self-esteem — so if you’re looking
for a little loving, make her feel like she’s the s
exiest woman on the planet! Allison Kendall is
a freelance writer based in Atlanta, GA.
