Shouldn’t Write Off
Valentine’s Day
February 13, 2019 by LAUREN DUNN
Years ago I attended a Valentine’s Day
event for singles. I was just 18 and had
barely even started thinking of myself as a
single. The event was a sweet and
encouraging gesture, but its predominant
message seemed to be “you can cry if you
want to.” For the first time I realized that
some people pitied me because I didn’t
have a special someone.
Those of us who remain single sometimes
find that others feel sorry for us. This is
especially true around Valentine’s Day. Of
course we singles have played our part in
attracting this kind of attention. Celebrating
February 14 as “Singles Awareness Day” or
a Me-Day for V-Day has done a lot to take
the focus off of romantic relationships.
I’ll be the first to admit that Valentine’s Day
is completely overdone. There are too many
expectations, too much attention on
choosing a valentine even among young
kids and way too much chocolate (if that’s
even a thing). I could also do without the
flying angel baby. But at its heart (get it?
heart?), Valentine’s Day is not about
commercialism. Valentine’s Day is a
celebration of love — particularly the love
that leads to marriage — and those of us
who are single have at least three reasons
to celebrate.
1. Marriage is beautiful.
How two strangers become each other’s
better half is nothing short of mystery — and
a beautiful mystery at that. When two of my
longtime Sunday school friends got married,
I kept thinking about how much he had
annoyed her in sixth grade. Another friend of
mine got married less than two weeks ago
to a guy she met last year when her brother
introduced them. Real-life relationships are
rarely Hallmark Channel material , but their
beauty is deeper and more surprising and
complicated than any scriptwriter could ever
create.
It comes as no surprise that marriage is a
beautiful thing, because God — the designer
of all things beautiful — created it. He
instituted marriage thousands of years
before the church as a picture of the
relationship between Christ and the Church.
No matter how much I think about that fact,
I can’t wrap my mind around it. Whether we
have a ring on our finger or not, we can
celebrate marriage as one of the many
beautiful things God has created.
2. Marriage is important.
Even if we never walk down the aisle, we
have still benefited from marriage. If we
grew up in the security of a family with a
married mom and dad, our lives have been
forever shaped by the goodness of
marriage. Even if a stable family was not
the mark of our childhood, the likelihood of
a strong married couple being present in our
lives is high. Marriage provides a healthy
place for children to become adults.
Marriage also strengthens the church,
especially as husbands and wives become
teams who reach out and serve together. In
my youth group the grandparents of one of
the kids taught one class. We loved them,
and they loved us as they worked together
as a team. Strong marriages are important
for kids, families and the church. I am
grateful that marriage benefits all of us, and
we can celebrate the positive influence
marriage has on our communities.
3. Marriage is not better than
singleness.
Because we know that marriage is beautiful
and important, and because the majority of
adults will be married at some point in their
lives, it’s tempting for those of us still
single to feel left out of the “best” club.
Like we’re in the second-rate group at the
pity party but not the real party itself.
But in Jesus no one is ever left out, whether
they are single or married, childless or
surrounded by babies, old or young, dating
yet again or never-been-asked-out. The Bible
makes it clear — particularly in Paul’s
letters — that singleness is not second-rate
and that God’s over-the-top, life-altering
love has been poured out equally on all of
us. Nothing in the entire universe is more
worth celebrating than this fact: In Christ we
all stand equally and immeasurably loved.
A day of love and unity
Married Christians often don’t recognize the
struggles and realities for those of us still
unmarried, and singles often don’t see the
difficulties married couples face. But we all
have a lot of love to celebrate.
In a time when love has been twisted and
committed love has been blasted out of the
popular conversation, Valentine’s Day can be
a reminder to the world that Christians value
real love and biblical marriage. And that we
love each other, no matter how different our
lives might be.
So let Valentine’s Day be Valentine’s Day.
Consider babysitting for some married
friends, or ask a single friend to dinner. Find
your favorite way to celebrate the love you
have experienced. And of course eat some
chocolate.
Copyright 2019 Lauren Dunn. All rights
reserved.
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