Re: Why I No Longer Share My Dreams

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On Wed, 1/30/19, Mridu Khullar Relph <mridu@theinternationalfreelancer.com> wrote:

Subject: Why I No Longer Share My Dreams
To: jlcmedia2016@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, January 30, 2019, 5:01 PM

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Hiya writers,
I'm doing something different in 2019.
While I'm setting goals (big, audacious, hairy ones),
I'm not sharing them publicly.
Why?
When Sarah Blakely, self-made billionaire and
founder of Spanx, was first launching her product, she
didn't tell anyone about it. Not her family, not her
friends, not anyone she wasn't directly pitching it to.
Her dreams were big and because
they were so big, she knew she didn't have the belief
and the reserves yet to be able
to protect them from other people's opinions, criticisms
and fears.
I'm very open in my newsletters and
especially so in my Finishers community about my goals,
ambitions, and desires. I have an increasingly public image.
When I send out newsletters, I get dozens of emails from
people, often with their own viewpoints and agendas. Almost
always, I love and appreciate these viewpoints and welcome
them. But when it comes to our goals—our goals should
never be up for discussion.
When I first started as a freelancer, people
told me it was impossible to make a living as a freelancer
from India. When I did that, it was impossible to make six
figures. I've now done that too, and they're still
telling me that my goals are too ambitious, my dreams too
big, my desire too high.
Here's the thing: When you're failing,
people will tell you it's impossible. When you succeed,
they tell you that you got lucky.
Like Sarah Blakely, I 100% belief in my goals
and dreams, but at this point in my journey, I don't yet
have the reserves to defend those
goals, especially to people who have never truly witnessed
my will, my determination, or my talent. All those
viewpoints would do is that they'd threaten to introduce
conflict and doubt in my mind where it didn't exist
before. I'm not yet so solid in my goals to be able to
wave away that doubt.
We are all in charge of honoring, protecting,
and nurturing our dreams. Some of us do that—as I have
done in the past—by sharing, so that we can build
accountability and momentum. I now have professionals who
provide that for me—agents, editors, and coaches—and so
this year, I'm trying something new. I'm working
silently behind the scenes and really building my faith in
my goals and dreams without the added pressure of explaining
them.
I don't necessarily think one way is better
than the other, though I do believe that as you grow in your
journey, you'll be less inclined to share. But I am really
curious to see how my little experiment plays out and
whether this different energy leads to different results.
(If you're interested in why this works, check out this TED talk by Derek Sivers on
why you should keep your goals to yourself.)
Of course, once I have some data, I'll come
back and share what I learn.
What do you think? Are you a goal-sharer or
do you prefer to keep yours close to heart? I'd love to
know.
Cheers,
Mridu
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